Sunrise and Sunsets

I was awaken by the vibration of my phone not long after i tried to sleep at 11.30. It turned out to be a phonecall from Louis- wishing me happy birthday!sumhow he called at 11.48 (guess my hp’s slow). Smses started flooding in n i just smiled. I stared at my phone.. 11.58.In 2 minutes time, 1st of July will come. All i did was stare at the ceiling in my dark room talking to God in my head. This is it… another year older.

I didn’t expect today to be any different at all =). Everything went on pretty normally counting the fact i woke up 30 minutes late. I didn’t even feel the need to celebrate.. its just another normal day right?But i was kinda surprised and touched once again when people actually remembered my birthday, wishing me happy birthday and shaking my hand. I have no idea how many times i said thank you n shook their hands back =S.

In prayer meeting, Ms. Tan said a prayer for me and in class my classmates sang happy birthday eventhough Sung didn’t come (he usually starts the singing). I just felt really happy cause i usually think that i don’t mean much to others =).

Before recess, Shu Lyn asked me if i wanna teman her to the PR to get sum stuff. I eyed her suspiciously saying ..’okay…?I thought you never walk with me during recess… how come suddenly one?”

” I just ask you teman onli mah… since its your *birthday* and all”

” whatever you say…”

(two thumbs up) ”okay?okay!”

She put on the calm smiling face of hers while we both walked to the pr.While walking along a long corridor, i peered down to the pondok where i usually have my recess and could see people fumbling with lighting candles. Busted!

Not wanting to ruin their effort, i played dumb and just acted like i didnt know. I walked to the pondok and was actually surprised to see around 30 of my friends gathered there.. with 3 birthday cakes( yess.. 3!) lighted with candles. They all sang happy birthday and i looked at everyone of them i could and smiled.. thanks guys so much. It really means alot to me!The cakes were bought by :

cake no.1 : ange n nez

cake no.2: kuan zee

cake no.3: ann ee and edwin

I was pretty dumb cus i forgot to make a proper wish b4 blowing out the candles.. =S. if not i could have made 3 wishes!haha.We all had plenty to eat.. they gave me 3 pieces and i was giler stuffed to the point i couldnt even finish the last spoonful of secret recipe cake (fed it to edwin). Some of us then posted for a picture but Joel’s camera died the moment the photographer clicked it so the pic tak jadi =.=’.

I just got a call from Stephen as well. It’s been a loooooooong time since we talked.

I came to a realization on how childish i can be to friends who don’t seem to be around often. I always got angry with such friends and try to erase them out of my life. But i now realise that every friend will disappoint you in some way and every single one of them cant be there 24/7. No human is perfect at all. If you’re going to be angry at friends who really cause trouble in the friendship its natural. But if you’re going to keep that anger and bitterness inside of you for a long long time, it’d only destroy yourself. Learn to let go of the disappointments and move on… do not expect too much out of a person. Accept the fact that your friend is bound to let you down at times. And when they’re around, appreciate them as much as possible and learn to give but not expect anything back. I wanna fulfill my responsibility as a friend to others so that i will not look back wishing that i could have treated them better and not take them for granted. To all my friends, I’ll always be grateful for you, even if it is just being with you for a short period of time. Thank you so much for the sweet memories you have blessed me with today.. =). God bless you all!

CAN YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE I SPENT ENTIRE 1 HOUR PLUS TYPING AND IT ALL DISPPEARED WITH ONE CLICK?!?!??!?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!and just the other day i wus about to type preview after finsihing my post when my father switched off the wireless…. =.="""""

Anyway i shall retype allllllllll over again. T-T.

Basically my life has been tough as usual. More on friendships. Friendships are so important in our lives. It moulds us, shapes us and supports us. But it can also put us on emotional rollercoasters. Mine surely did. For me, i used to be really close to this guy. We’d chat over the phone for hours till 3 am or so and share alot with each other. I felt comfortable being myself around him and all. At that time it was a mutual agreement to be good friends. BUt he always wouldn’t call, sms or even contact me unless i do first.Not even a happy birthday or so. It left me confused, whether i mean anything to him at all. I told him bout dis n he apologised and promised to call evry week but his promises were empty. Not keeping in touch was bad enough but making a promise you never keep in a friendship is probably more disappointing. I finally made a decision to not contact him, seeing if he’d bother to contact me. Months pass without a word. It was painful for me but after months of trying to let go and with help from someone along the way i managed to let go in the end.

     When i went for subang rally, it was weird to bump into him. Of course we chatted as though nothing happened but deep down inside i know not to get back into where i was before. He had disappointed me alot in the past. I didn’t hang around with him to be careful. Instead i hanged around with my other friend who coincidently came alone for the night concert too. Waliao he was giler flirty to me. =.=" good thing im not naive (thank God im not like a form 2 girl anymore) so i took his flirting lightly and knew it didnt mean much cus he jus flirts with any other girl as well. But he was nice and i didn’t really mind his company cus i knew him since form 2. He flirted so much (ladies man) to the point that ann ee thought he n i were together =S. She told me she felt like slapping him but did not dare to just in case id scream at her *What are you doing?!? he’s my BOYfRienD!!!’wOrse case scenario?haha

            The next night i was surprised when i received an sms from my friend whom i finally let go off. He asked me how was i doing and stuff. I chatted awhile wif him n finally told him that ive let go of him and become a stronger person =).

            If you put toooooooo much hope in a person you’re bound to get disappointed. Many girls have the mindset that their bestest friend must always be by their side 24/7 evritime they are together and get jealous when someone else gets close to their best friend. I believe that its time to mature from that mindset. You cant keep evrione by your side and as close as they are now to you forever. Friends really do come and go but the true ones will stick around. you cant expect them to be as close as they are to you now forever though.Letting go of someone’s probably the hardest part. All those memories you shared together makes you want to cling on ever so tightly eventhough you know its time to give them their space. Eventhough your friendship may be so complicated. Letting go her doesnt mean totally dumping them aside but having a mutual agreement to give each other more space or the worse= going your seperate ways which you will have to face sooner or later.

      I admire those who really leans and trust in God through ups and downs. They are the truly strong people as they hold unto Him although people discriminate them or talk bad bout them behind their back. We shouldn’t condemn people for their belief. Eventhough we might not totally agree with everyone’s belief, at least do respect them. Same goes to people who act in a way which causes them not to be accepted by society. Remember, they are humans just like you.

              Id also like to say im proud of my mortalo!Eventhough he may be an insensitive jerk sometimes, he’s still kinda loyal, actually keeping in touch although not super often but at least he still does. We became angel and mortal through the game angel mortal in my youth camp when i was form 3. This game requires you to be an guardian angel to the person’s name you randomly pick. Means throughout the camp you have to do nice stuff for your mortal without him or her knowing who you are. Anyways he is two years younger and at that time he was form 1. He is a lil bit more mature then his other two buddies of the same age and sometimes he can say really sweet things. Honest and kinda straightforward too, falls for older girls SOMETIMES. (hahahaa funny experience right sue mae?) He doesn’t like admitting he’s wrong too lol. It really makes me happy that we still keep in touch cus usual angel and mortals don’t even say hi to each other after the camp if they don’t really know each other. We only met through the camp too =).I was really proud of him when he told me that he made it into the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra WITHOUT an audition. (violin). Its a really famous orchestra and to make it into one you’d have to be a genius!To my mortalo: I know you’d probably never read this but i just wanna say that as long as i can remain your angelo i hope that we’d keep in touch often -and that i really appreciate you coming into my life. God blez~!

d hectic week is over.Sports day wus d finale of it!It wus raining frm midnite all d way to 7.40am n i wus already wishing deyd cancel sports day hahah.

Pretty nervous. Wen jo zee n i arrived wif d table for d clas bubble tea stall it wus still raining. We had a dilemma..no power supply nearby to boil d water!Anyway being bz i had to rush of to d taekwando peeps n practice d taerobics wif em.We were all kinda confused cus it hadnt been sorted out n ee hwang n chern hao werent der yet. den dey arrived wif a last minute plan for d taerobics,cutting d music short n going to the ending right away hahaa dats d way man. Aniway we practiced hard n den rushed of for the taerobics performance which had to be on d SUPER muddy field..ewwwwww!We were screaming for real to the music wen we danced on d squishy mud. Den our taerobics turn came. We ran into position n stood der…d music frm d tcher’s laptop heng kei!!!!Dey tried to play it many times but it didnt work. stopped halfway..so dey cancelled our taerobics n we continued wif d 2nd dance. wat a let down…all dis hard work for notin.

Den i rushed off for the 4 by 400 event. i wus supose to go 3rd wen dey suddenli told me to go 1st.I wus like..wert?!?Im gna pancit n all by the time i reach dat corner….i cnt run 400 well!But bonnie wus den sorta encouraging me telling me how to run…dunt let d person in front of u be 2 far. I wus lik im gna just die halfway…hahaha me n my low confidence.

n we went to the track wen our turn came. I wus making sure im all warmed up so dat i wuldnt hurt my leg like on sunday’s saringan. My muscle stil kinda hurt frm den so i wus worried id injure my leg halfway-again. My baton team consisted of me,bonnie,jia fong n xin lei. We made sure we had all the flannil applied on us just in case. I even applied it on my arms n it felt reali cooling-syiok wei!wa…wounds lik drugs.

Aniway, i stood in my position, d most outer lane 0_o. N d gun went off. I ran…n told God Im gna run s fast s i can!I ran like i nvr ran b4..felt so energetic n happy n free or sumtin. No one overtook me even wen i passed dat corner n i didnt die!I believe God blessed me n also my spikes helped me. First time i ever wore em n i gota say dey make ur feet go toing toing of d ground. Nice!If i wear normal shoes id be sinking into d earth or feel lik my feet r heavy =/. I ran all d way without slowing down much…n passed d baton to bonnie. I made it!finished 1st way b4 others!I nvr managed to run 400m dat well in my life…based on past experiences. Weird day huh.

In d end xin lei wus d last runner. She wus like 1/3 of d track ahead of  2nd person. N den she approached d finish line n stopped 2 INCHES b4 it n tought she was done…wanted to walk to d side wen all of us were like U HAVENT ENDED IT YET!!!!!!!she realised dat after sum time wen d tcher’s were telling her excitedly n she quickly stepped to the finish line lol. WE GOT 1ST!yay!!!!!!

My class bubble tea which sales were almos canceled went on in d end. Jo zee managed to pull it off yay!n i must say it didnt do too bad either =).Kwan zee’s 400m baton was rite after mine n i told him dat if his team finishes 1st ill remove his pic frm my frenster. He malu to hav it der sheesh. He smiled n seemed happy bout dat deal n den he ran n ran but is team didnt win so…oh well kwan zee ur pic stays!muahahahhhaaaa

We got our golden medals..felt so good to have gold around my neck man. my next event wus 200 but i ended fourth. Cus i dunt train running at all i cannot speed well n my leg muscle hurt a lil again haiz.

Hang tuah got 2nd overall which wus a HUGE improvement frm last yr. Praise the Lord!

Tough week for me. This happens to be d most eventful week ever in my life. Tues was piano exam which i hardli had time to practice for due to staying back in school for dance practices d weeks b4 n dn tuition. Wed n Thurs was staying back in school for more dance practices.

  I was whinny n snappy n complaining cus in school i had to skip lessons evri single day for taerobics n senamrobics mssm. I bareli had enuff sleep at nite n d onli time i wore my school uniform wus monday. I hurt my leg while running 200m on d previous sunday n it hurt evritime i did a 360 jumping kick!

   To make matters worse,der was a national bible quiz on fri n i hadnt prepared properly for it!I was going nuts………….wif panda eyes n always sleeping in school n tuition…drowsy n moody…stressed. Yup me in d stress mood head on!

       The easter rally is on saturday n d dance performance led by me wasnt near ready!Cus not 1 SINGLE prctice did d whole team managed to come together. I had to sacrifice…staying back practice after practice…stressing dat we’re not synchronised or dat sum of em dunno d steps properly. Den we decided to get a proper evrione together practice in ju yinn’s house on fri nite since it had a huge mirror. Her mum disagreed. Den i asked my dad if we culd use a mirror room in his office but he told me it wus now a storage room… T-T.

Den tings started to turn aroun for d dance ting. Last minute at 6.59 am ju yinn smsed me saying her mum changed her mind!The next problem wus Edwin having to leave at 8pm on fri practice.

Then fri came n edwin suddenli said he can leave at ten. We ALL managed to practice 2gether for d 1st time ever n we managed to get tings done!phew…………………………………………..

The next issue wus kwan zee not able to attend d dance rehearsal in school on sat morning cus he had a long ago planned bball match. But den sudenli he said it wus postponed to nex week…i wus lik wow Thank God wei.

D dance managed to pull of nicely n dis just shows how God provides wen u learn to trust in Him. Oh btw…d bk quiz wusnt too bad in d end too.

Now to end my terrible week…. sports day tomorrow =)

i remember my sister trying to teach me piano wen i was around 4.. she said ‘ there’s the a,b,c,d,e,f,g’ while pressing each note on d 2nd hand mini upright grand piano in an enclosed room.

‘ where’s the h?’

‘oh…it ran away. so there is no h..just a,b,c,d,e,f,g.’

‘really?why?’ ‘cus its just like that..’

And she tought me mary had a lil lamb. Stdrd 1. I started my piano lessons..level 1. I used to love theory as there were many stickers n stuff. n playing wus kinda fun. Id be so addicted to sum pieces but didnt reali like others..like d chinese mor li hua.My teacher was friendly n all.I even sat for an exam.. n i played my heart out. My score was 99 i tink… but i dunt even noe if it was over 100 or 150!

Stdrd 3. I entered grade 1. My mum made a fuss on y i had to go through level 1 instead of going grade 1 straight away like others.. i remember being in my piano teacher’s car s she rushed me to school right after a lesson.

‘ If you get merit ill give you sumting’

‘Married?’

My sister got nice stationary wif musical patterns all over it. Sumting you cant find easily in bookshops. I sat for my exam n got few more marks to distinction. My teacher never gave me anything..being sensitive i teared up secretly.

Years passed by n i played more n more pieces. At times i loved piano so much n at times i felt like quitting. Scales were frustrating n wen i practice so hard for exams but never played perfectly id get so frustrated n my head wuld get giddy cus of d black n white keys reflecting d daylight.. till now it still does. My piano playing wus nvr excellent. Partly cus i didnt wna practice n partly cus my teacher wasnt strict. She nvr taught me my basics properly n my touching wasnt solid or firm…often too banging or too fragile.

Grade 5 practical. You HAVe to pass this one to go on to grade 6 n above. I got 111 n my 2nd sis got 113 for grade 7. I wasnt too happy cus i thought i could have gotten higher.My theory however wus grade 4..lagging one year behind.

The next year i wus form 2. Doing grade 5 theory. You cant proceed to grade 6 practical without a grade 5 theory qualification. So instead of doing grade 6 practical i did grade 5 theory. I so sucked at it!Didn’t memorise d basics n my teacher kept having to repeat the same thing all over again. At times i’d be stuck at d same page having to do correction for 3 lessons..n id always do my theory homework half an hour before my teacher comes. I especially hated d cadences n what so part.

To train me for grade 5 she often gave me past theory exam papers to do n id get half wrong most of the time. But the real day came..jang jang jang…theory exam!it wus held in my school though so not dat scary. I went in…after memorising n cramming watever i needed to d nite b4. effort for once- hah. Sat for it n went off. Wen d results came i got merit!81. dey minused sum marks cus d london peeps said it was messy. puhleez man..fussy neat people.

The next year i did grade 7 practical. My piano lesson clashed with my english tuition. My teacher wus loaded with students n rushed straight from klang, arriving onli at 5.45 whereas my tuition started at 6. So there i had it…15 minutes lessons for rm 250 per month wen actually dey were supposed to be n hour. she spent 4 minutes chatting,2 to 3 minutes theory n d rest practical. By this point my playing stunk so bad  i didnt even like it. I gave up on grade 6 theory.. having progressing too slowly wif d 2 minutes. I told myself i prefer all d subjects in school combined den dis horrible theory!!Before my grade 7 exam my teacher onli gave me 2 lessons of aural. she gave me  cd to learn myself n yups dat cd wus helpful.

I sat for my exam n i failed every single one of my pieces…but did reali well in aural. i got 101!!thought id fail!!

2007 came..on 6th january i finally changed my piano teacher to sumone else. My mum’s childhood fren’s wife.I still remember stepping into dat tiny room wif a grand piano inside. She asked me to play whatever i learned in my grade 8 pieces frm my previous teacher n i did.

‘oh my!Your playing is horrible!Your touching on d piano is too rough..what did ur previous teacher teach you?’

I knew what she said was d truth. she taught me my pieces again frm scratch..explaining to me how to play better. Every position or tension in ur hand produces a different sound. She played on my hand wif her fingers, showing me different touchings that will produce different sounds. Her skinny structure n poofy hair, accompanied by golden round glasses made me grin n tried so hard not to laugh as she waved her hnds in d air. A funny sight.

I was so determined to improve my piano playing that i began to practice hard. She told me dat my piano playng is improving fast.

‘In the baroque period there are four different lines in d pieces. You have to bring out d theme n play those 4 seperate parts together with just two hands.’

I learned to play loud n soft, curves n slurs like ive nver did b4. I learned to listen to what i was playing..appreciate d beautyness of d melody. Apply dynamics n be obssesed wif perfectioning my every note. I learned how to take control over my fingers n not let it run like crazy.

It all zoomed by so fast. My new piano teacher made me take grade 8 in 2008 as she said i wasnt ready. I learned as much as i could n she said i can get merit n must get merit. I stared at her in disbelief

‘But the last time i got merit was like grade 1!’

‘I know my students. Now you have to get me that merit’

WAaaaliawe!!!

She shared many things wif me bout her students. We chatted like friends but she still made sure i played up to her standard n i got a solid 1 hour lesson everytime except wen i came late n her student ws next.

N den d last lesson came. i remember cherishing every moment i could. Stepping into her house n walking to d piano for d very last time. I started panicking slightly as if sitting for my exam itself. My playing was never perfect n until then i still told myself the most i can ever get is a past.Before i knew it my final piano lesson was over.I handed her a small gift, a golden brooch with musical notes on it embedded with 2 stones. Saying gudbye to her s i walked out d  door was painful. I felt like i was leaving an important part of my life behind n started tearing up. But she didnt see those tears.

Today i went for my exam. My final exam.It was in hilton pj, n my father forced me to confirm wif my teacher dat it wus dis Hilton n not sum other hilton in kl although i wus soo sure. Haiz.. paranoid.

At the waiting room i was trying my best to keep calm, praying to the Lord n also reading Tuesdays with Morrie. The malay guy who was smoking earlier called me out n led me to the exam room.

I then stepped into the exam room after hearing a lady’s voice. I smiled to myself for i thought it wuld sureli be a guy examiner. The elderly lady around her sixties seemed so motherly n warm. But my fingers were icy.

She gave me lotsa staccato scales n i didnt play so well. Even my pieces didnt go too well either but i was already prepared to make mistakes so i didnt let my nerves get d best of me.

Sight reading wasnt smooth n aural..went better den i expected except for d sight singing. I didnt even noe wat i was singing n sumhow i sang exctly wat she played on her right hand o.0.

Soon it was over. The nightmare ws over!i stepped ut n den told my father s we made our way to the car.

‘450 bucks for 18 minutes. Man..imagine how much dey get.’

On d drive home it was raining heavily n deep inside my heart i knew dat my piano lessons have officialy ended. How i wish i could rewind time n not take em forgranted.

my grade 8 teacher gave me a gift no other human could give..

The gift of Music.

evrione wans a place wer dey can truly belong dunt dey?ive always been searching for a group of true frens which will be wif me tru up n downs, whom i can share honest laughter n tears with, who wil nvr be distant frm  me n who wuld reali appreciate me.

to find frens like dat is hard isnt it?wen i look at groups of close friends who always stick together tru ups n downs i guess i envy em.i dare not intrude into deir circle n i noe dat ill always feel not part of em wen i hang out wif em or sumtin.

dat bond dat ive been searching for but nvr found, dat strong, precious bond of pure friendship dat is everlasting to the point dat id probli be sipping tea wif dat childhood friend, chatting comfortably n laughing genuinely wen we’re 90 or sumtin.. now i reali dunno whether i can find it. sure i noe lotsa people n chat wif em but it seems like we nvr reali reveal dat deep side of ourselves, helping each other tru our sadness n joy.n wen i did share dat kinda deep friendship, it fades away so fast..

i had a group of close* friends… dunno whether u can reali call em dat though. started out together in form 1 but i always felt that im not dat welcomed…like left out yanoe. i mean like deyd nvr wait for me during recess..dey’re always walking off together leavin me behind. dey’ve never reali shown dat dey appreciate me n deyve nvr been der tru my ups or downs.n i had a best friend who was reali reali close to me, who knew wat i went tru but she drifts away on n off lik d wind. not a stable friendship n again i feel dat i wasnt appreciated. it took me a long wile to let go of em n wen i finally did, i realised dat it was me who wus clinging on to em all this while n deyve never clung on to me in d friendship.

wen i express this prob to sum friends dey say dat i cn always talk to em if im feeling down or sumtin. i did open up to sum but in d end our friendship faded n we grow further apart. its lik i take dat effort to open up n be sincere n all but in d end dey nvr reali stuck by me s a friend.so since bad experiences ive already built a shield to protect myself frm others- not revealing my deep side easily so dat wen dey grow further apart frm me i wont be hurt.maybe its just sumtin wrong wif my attitude dat i always receive dat kind of treatment. if der is id luv to noe wats wrong wif me n change for d better.

im on dis long,never-ending journey to find true friends whom can really stay by me- not neccesarily physicaly but more of communications like keeping in touch constantly n being der for u tru high n lows.i dunno if i can ever finally find n settle down in a genuine close friendship dat lasts forever n ever….maybe its just a fantasy after all.but dat will always remain my dream-to get rid of this loneliness.

Yesterday was my first time performing solo…during pn Wu’s retirement i sang almost lover n played keyboard n joel played guitar. It was so depressing cus it sucked!!!Oh………….. HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!The sound system was bad n no one really payed attention to the performance…i tink my voice SUX TO THE MAX too. Man i took it sooo hard on myself n felt like shrinking in a hole n nvr performing singing again EVA in my life.I was like so sad although a few frens of mine tried to cheer me up.. thx guys. I stood at the side of the hall after d performance to watch d rest of the event. I just stood der under d sun n burned…had no mood to get into the shade blueh.

Kwan Zee den came n asked me to stand in d shade but i wus like no thx…. still pulling the depressed non smiling face. He was like cmon stand inside or ull get burned..but i was still reluctant so he stood out in d sun wif me n den wen i was just about to turn to him to say u dunt hav to stand out ere wif me he stood behind me to block the sun. Dat certainly worked to make me immediately step in the shade cus i dun wan other peeps to suffer for me =\.He then asked me for a favour n asked whether i wuld be free later on lik during recess.. n i said okay…? He asked me if i could perform one more time so that he can hear the song properly n dat he’ll adjust the sound system dis time himself. I was lik wow how sweet >.< n den he told me don’t cry cus of d performance just now okay i dun lik it wen girls cry… after u go home n cry wei. Of course i wouldnt cry over a small ting..id just get depressed for months i told him lol.

Then during recess joel was threatened by him to come down to perform wif me once again or else he wont book the tennis court this fri lol. den we went down to the hall n it was being emptied. just a few people chilling wif d guitar n 2 tchers which just finished performing. shu was der too so i performed one more time. Szto was lik yay beri sokongan n aaron was der too lol. so i sang again but horribly =p n den dey quickly packed up b4 the authorities screw us XD.

And today i struggled to get to school to make it for the supposedly taekwando meeting n also to take d pendrive frm feli. Well i had to sneak around n hope i didnt get caught as i didnt go to school n i entered in jeans n flip flops. They cancelled d stupid meeting!!!nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! nvr tell me summore sobs. i managed to get the thumbdrive after forcing aaron in school uniform to find for feli lol thx aaron!=p my for real dead serious dramatically changed face works all d time XD.I den went to wait for rapid KL rite outside school while majority of the school were stuck in d hall listening to speeches on tree planting day bluek.

I sat at the steps rite beside the highway reading national geographic nex to sum bangladeshi road sweeper. Suddenli the bus zoomed by n i immediately jolted up to find the bus zoom pass by. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO my facial expression screamed.i put my hands on my head s d road sweepers probli stared in amusement. i was so pissed at how i could miss the stupid bus.. i den went back n seeing d road sweepers smile at me i pulled a GRUMPY STAY AWAY FORM ME face just in case.i then saw hanif drive pass by for d 2nd time n waved at him n den kai yee walked by, offered me a fry (hey it rhymes!) n bid her farewel. Next i saw a taxi stop by. there was sumone familiar in d passenger seat but i tought to myself nah…culdnt be. the taxi man den stared at me tinking i need a ride but i immediately looked away to say no. den d *familiar* person stepped down after paying. first i saw a sports bag n den a shoe. den the person stood up… guess who wus it? jang jang jang…..(dramatic pause). It’s kwan zee again!!!!!!!!!!! hahaa 2 days in a row =S. I shouted his name n waved n he saw me n started walking towards my direction. surprisingly this was his first time pontengin =X. Congrats mah fwen~. he just came back frm tennis n is gna go for the prefects senior page photoshoot. i told him how i missed d stupid rapid kl n dat i was lik arggh!!!!den suddenli Metrobus no 10 (my bus) passed by. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Why m i soo jinxed?!?!?he den ajaked me to walked to anothr bus stop nearby so that d bus can stop wen dey actuali see me.. unfortunateli der was d stupid BN flags blocking my face haha. Through our conversations i realised dat he’s reali a simple guy dat jus likes to c people happy.not many people are like dat nowadays…dey’re all soo complicated n stuff. den another bus passed by but it was no. 13 so not mine. den another bus..this time a school bus stopped after kwan zee waved it down. he asked d uncle if he could drop me home but d school bus was goin to court 4.. not dat near my house so we bid d nice driver goodbye. after bout 50 min frm the first bus i missed i wanted to go wait at ss14.. a proper bus stop but HALLELUJAH metrobus no 10 came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i quickly waved at it n so did he n it actuali stopped- IT ACTUALLY STOPPED!

I got on d bus n bid dear ol kwan zee buhbye n felt relieved to be on my way home. den it hit me in d head- RAPID KL BUS DOESNT EVEN COME 2WICE IN 50 MIN?ARGGGGGGGGH I ANTI RAPID KL WEI!METRO BUS OSO BETTER WEI!So after 5 busses passing by n i got on d 6th one i smiled at how nice it is to have a reali sweet fren accompany me all d way.

Oh by the way i totally baked sumting today!yeaman… d recipe was way simple so i followed n it JADI…TADAAA!Yorkshire pudding yay!but it tasted soso onli… but who cares?i managed to actuali make sumtin edible =p. signing off now….enjoy ur hols peeps~

sumtimes evritin can be summed up to one word=  urgh. wen ur pushing urself you’d wna take  break but wen ur taking a break u’d wna push urself blah.

tmrw we’re gna shift to pantai fbc…i dunno wat wuld happen but for now im onli imagining wat wuld change… n kinda feeling sad

but at d same time im looking forward to noe-ing dem more n i reali hope we’d gel right in

well gotta go sleep soon..=\ nite nite

Hm… lotsa times id feel dat im not appreciated. Well I dunno if that’s normal but i tink its very hard to expect nothing in return wen u help someone if wat you expect in return is for them to appreciate u more s a friend.

    As days past n as i meet more people, get closer to some, keep my distance frm some n lotsa stuff ive learned that it’s so important to put sum kinda armor of protection for urself. You don’t wanna get crushed to pulp if that person disappoints or hurts ya..

    Several times ive tried to be helpful n open up to some people n all, expecting to be sumwat closer as friends but many at times people don’t react d way u expected dem to.well… now ive concluded dat you can’t take dis too seriously at heart n be hurt but keep dat protection up. n oso don’t expect them to fulfill their promises all the time cus frm my experience, most promises made are empty.

Is dis y lotsa people find it so hard to truly reveal their real side to others?all these insecurities are just complicated. People are like jigsaw puzzles after all. i wish genuine friendships are more easily found =\

valentines day huh… =). Im like many other peeps-still single but hey dats okay man!so we’ll call today singletines yeah. Won’t it be cool if we singletine peeps go out for a candle light dinner just for the fun of it?=D

Anyway, I came up wif dis idea of celebrating 29 February. Every 29th February after dis graduating year lets all have a HUGE gathering like till we’re all old wif walking sticks hehe. We can pick a restaurant that we love n wna giv business to n den we can call our frens who will call other frens n all. wonder if u’d support dis idea? we can call ourselves the 29th februarians or sumtin =D